Okay Okay, thinking back… now where was I. That’s right… I was in El Nido, I was Young (I was still 31), I was full of hope, I had so many dreams and I was eagerly awaiting my friends boat to arrive.

Yep, I can do this.

In tropical paradise style I met their boat whilst aboard my rented Paddleboard (of course I’d practiced a little yoga on the board first). It was great.

Me Got Some Friends!

It’s important to stay hydrated

Everyone tells you when you arrive, you must do Tour A and C

We went on a tour, this was called Tour C – we had an amazing group of people with us so quickly made some new and awesome new friends. We nicked named it Tour F cause it was kinda dodgy and they didn’t know what they were doing so much, but we had a brilliant day… AND it was my Birthday!

Tour C it is….

Beatuiful Peeps made Tour F

Post the tour our new gang head to the local bar and played a game of Dart…. there was only one Dart, hence the name. Now I’m not usually one to partake in such things, I’m a bit of a party pooper around ‘man cave games’ but I surprised myself and had a great time (and I came 2nd out of like 7 people) …. and it wasn’t just the shots everyone kept buying me. So cut a long story short I had a brilliant night, ended it with a late night ocean skinny dip and prepared for Tour A in the morning.

Priceless. Gotta impress the birthday girl.

Time to hit the ‘town’

A bit of Dart

Some fun times and great people! Note the Twinings behind the counter, very good. haha.

I woke up on the day that was not my birthday (I was no longer special) and I felt horrid but hey I kinda expected that… goes with the territory. I wish I could say Tour A was amazing, but it was HELL. I was cold and shivering, I was vomiting and I really felt that someone should just euthanize me. Anyway, as we pulled up at 6pm that evening I gave my stomach acid one last chance of freedom off the side of the boat and went back to my room.

It’s no surprise I have no photos from Tour A

The next few days came and went, it became apparent a few days later that ah Tour F perhaps gave me some good old fashioned food poisoning… just cause I’m 32 now doesn’t mean that I get 3, 4, 5 day hangovers with cold sweats (well it better not). Okay, guess this isn’t going to be a scuba trip after all.

Anyway being a glutton for punishment I agreed to catch a 7 hour shuttle bus with a friend (it was so squashed, but it was a plus not to have live roosters) from El Nido to Sabang, which is more remote and quiet than El Nido. I managed it, I guess I was getting better… it was on and off but life was still not good in Sarah Town.

I did however perk up for what was the most amazing place I went to in the Philipines, the 7th Wonder of the World…. The Underwater River. Wow, wow and wow. My friend being a smart cookie insisted we go at the very end of the day which meant a private boat and no one else behind us – it was sheer brilliance!

We do a little walk in the bush and then this appears… Now this is the sort of beauty I have been waiting for. No words!

So so so pretty 

Yep, we’re going in there!

Sorry no more pics, it’s dark in the cave!

So night one in Sabang, we went out and I watched my friends eat as I picked at some fruit, then I walked myself back to my room early. It was progress at least and I loved the underground river today.

I was jealous of my Swedish friend who checked herself into the fancy resort up the beach. I was even more sad to find out that this new place was worse than the first night in El Nido. See below for where sensible people stay…

By now I am used to no flushing toilets, but this place I was staying in for $10 that night (I know what did I expect for $10, I don’t know how it all happened) had no power at all i.e. no lights and no sink. I used the last little ounce of power my phone had to find my way to ‘hug’ (yuck, as if i can touch it) the toilet bowl and again slept with a sheet shivering to sleep.

The next morning. This is the part where I bowed out – I am no backpacker, I try to be but seriously Fuck That Shit.

My new friend works at Volvo. Safe, reliable and Swedish. This is exactly what I needed in my life. Off I go to find her at the fancy resort. I feel better the moment I check in… oh the bliss.

I say no way to the rest of the trip to Puerto Princessa City (I aint moving till I leave) and slowly but surely, through steady hammocking and pool time I get myself back to ‘normal’.

What a happy ending.

Okay, so for those of you interested in more than just my dribblings…. that’s you McChonkies! But Kirsty, I know you enjoy the dribbling haha.

El Nido is a tiny little strip along the beach with some bars on the beach, average restaurants and really basic accommodation. The consensus with the group I was with was that we just came too late. The place has grown too quickly and hasn’t really been able to catch up quick enough, it was marvelled by the world but then the world came (last year it was voted best beach in the world by a French Newspaper)…. The beach itself in my opinion would struggle to rival Seaford Beach, but it is a great hub for island hopping. The islands, lagoons etc are all pretty damn spesh.. although not necessarily all that unique, they would be amazing to stumble across but when they are jamming with tourists it’s just not the same.

So Sarah says, it’s a B Grade Destination. No Brad Pitt, but still smokin hot. Good fun, really pretty but don’t go too out of your way for it.

So here we go ….

Okay I take it back, I should worry about details…

So, I fly to Manila and then to El Nido – it’s boring but fine. I only wish that I’d thought about food. Oh well.

Anyway, I know I want to stay at Tony’s guesthouse… But apparently it doesn’t have a website. So, I’m a bit sceptical but I have details for 3 others as a back up… Look at me planning ahead 🙂

How cute is this airport…

And unusual to have this kind of chilled out vibe when travelling… Oh how quaint and lovely… I’m in some sort of paradise!

This is exactly where I should be right now! Okay now to find the place to stay… If Oprah was here she’s hi fiving me.

I’m blown away just by how beautiful it all feels

So I ride the tricycle to Rico’s guesthouse cause no one knows of this Tony’s place and feel so excited and inspired by the airport of all places… This place is going to be incredible I think to myself.

I arrive and it’s a small little strip with places everywhere. I pop into Rico’s which is totally cute and right on the beach. I go in and she tells me no rooms till tomorrow, hmm this is a minor problem. She tells me to leave my backpack and try along the beach.

I do, but everyone tells me no, no, no. Hmm, wasn’t expecting this. I go back to Rico’s and she let’s me use the internet and I chill and have a beer (I mean hell I’m on holiday right).

Seems I can go to some expensive resorts but it’s going to cost a fortune to get there as they are far away, I need to come back here to meet my friends anyway.

An older guy joins me let’s call him the Americanised Australian, he tells me he had the same problem and his friend stays here and he stays somewhere else, he’s had to move 3 times. Damn.

So the Americanised Australian tries to get me a room at his place, but no luck… Eh, well he wishes me well and says join his friends down the beach later. I’m on my own again.

Okay, time to go for another walk… No luck. Okay, shit is getting annoying. I find a bar and drink beer instead.

A Lone Austrian is chatting with the lady behind the bar about not being able to find a girl. I smile to myself and think shit, I nearly forgot I need a room. I search the net, find a place – go see them and they tell me no. My argument of the internet says you do is useless.

Eh, back to the bar. So it’s a tiny bar and my ‘things’ I left to save my seat have been moved next to Lone Austrian guy… Here we go…

“Oh they took your seat, but you can sit here” she says and smiles a little too sweetly. Ah, whatever.. I small talk a little, at least it takes my mind off having nowhere to sleep and the fact that some airport food is not agreeing with my body.

Finally the bar lady offers me her dishwasher boy to take me around to find rooms, the ‘last resort’ places. We walk around for ages in the dark (it feels safe and bustling not dark and creepy though) and I’m mentally planning how to stay awake all night.

I’m aware I have stuff all over the place, well okay just at Rico’s and the bar.. Ah shit Sarah, this was dumb even for you.

But finally, success…

Hotel: you mind shared bathroom?
Me: no, can I pay now
Hotel: you wanna see the room first?
Me: no, I’ll take it
Hotel: but it has shared bathroom
Me: take my money here
Hotel: okay, but come back in 1 hour I need to clean okay

So, back to the bar and my friendly bar lady and Lone Austrian – I ordered a pizza, it was huge. I eat what I think it acceptable to eat in public, but in my heart I know that when I’m finally in my dingy room I will gorge myself a little more…

Finally, in my room about 8.30pm I sit on the bed and then decide maybe my backpacking days are over and that I should stick to resorts and health spas in then future.

At this point it’s just good to have a place to sleep.

So, this is where I ended up…

Shit ain’t so pretty and cute anymore haha.

I munch a piece of pizza and hear a dog barking, I open the door and see someone’s kitchen and a little dog tied up… Naw, poor guy… I give him a slice. We can eat our troubles away together.

I go for a massage to pass the time and then decide I just wanna sleep early. The barking dog makes me feel a little sad, but I drift off reasonably easily.

However, I wake up and suddenly find this whole thing rather comical and humbling … And look forward to getting back to Rico’s!

I wake up do some yoga in my room (who needs Bikram when I have this hot box hotel room). I sit and wait for my egg, rice and hot dog breakfast and watch people do the accommodation scramble… Do you have room? No, no, no.

Okay, fingers crossed ‘my’ room is safe at Rico’s like they promised me!

Okay. So apparently El Nido is having a come back… Here I am at Rico’s