I love train travel in China. I’ve taken two trains in China, so clearly I am quite the expert. It’s just so relaxing, I can get loads of work done, I have leg room, they don’t make me put my seat upright for takeoff and landing, do major check in and generally no delays. What’s not to love!!
So off I go to Beijing for consumer research, my first trip there. Yay!
Randomly I got put up in an amazing hotel, a one very famous for high ranking officials… Seems that’s how I roll in Beijing I guess.
I feel like this will be a good trip even though I accept I don’t have time to spend the weekend and see the ‘amazing’ sites that the capital city holds for me.
Mmm, dinner for breakfast – the perks of hotel breakfast buffet in fancy Chinese hotels.
I get I won’t see the wall, but surely I can do SOMETHING!
I wake up early, obviously not as early as I had hoped or set my alarm for, but early enough. So I am feeling pretty good about myself, downloaded some APPs and have some maps – I got this.
So, I figure I take a nice stroll. I’m high on life and enjoying my upcoming exploration. I walk over a bridge and see a beautiful river, oh and wow old men are fishing – so cool.
I think (and yes a little smuggly)…’Who are these people who say Beijing is a smoggy concrete jungle… this is lovely’. I feel a little emotional – man I love China!
…. And I was so full of optimism!
So, I start walking to the Café I planned to work in, but it is taking much longer to get to than I planned, it didn’t seem this far on the map but I think about the exercise and feel good. I sit and work no problem, but soon realise that there is no way I can walk to Tiananmen square during lunchtime and then walk back to the hotel for my meeting at 2pm.
And because of the traffic here, it’s not like taking a taxi would make it that much better. I look at the metro… ah shit everything is so spread out. Oh well, I admit defeat and skip lunch so I can get back in time for my meeting.
For dinner we picked the Dali Courtyard, the most cliché and appropriate Beijing restaurant for my only night out. Food was delish and super cute! It was a shame my very new iphone 6 refused to charge properly and turn on (fuck you apple) for some reason, so I couldn’t take pics. I pep talk myself that this gives me a good chance to take in the surrounds without thinking about photo opportunities. But damn that Pomegranate tree, with fairy lights and a traditional wire birdcage is so perfect for Instagram – it’s practically teasing me!
By morning, at least somehow miraculously in the night my iphone decided it would kindly charge for me and it finally turned back on (I’m sorry Apple, I love you just please don’t leave me alone again). I make a mental note to back up my photos just like a man on his death bed promises god he will coneet and be a better man if he can just life another day… One day, just not this day!
I prepare for my day, feeling refreshed and notice this awesome little spa bathtub menu, OMG how sweet. I choose the grapefruit milk option and call reception; apparently it takes half an hour and it’s all fresh ingredients. Blissful and it’s complimentary. I call them tell them I’m going for breakfast and want it ready when I’m back. Great.
I come back, no bath… grumble in an old man way. I call again; they say okay they will send someone right away. Then it’s getting late, I actually need to leave my hotel. Eventually someone comes to my door and asks which one I want. Hmm, so it’s taken an hour to realise you don’t know what I want, and great I need to wait half an hour for you to prepare!! I force an understanding smile but I say forget it. Okay, okay – this is a case of people not understanding me and just answering with ‘yes, okay’. I get over it, I mean seriously #firstworldproblems lol
I decide to reflect a little. I have a serious case of angry. I think it’s Beijing, something about this city stops me in my tracks… and I don’t like it. It’s like all I can see here are the hard parts of China without the charms.
I soon decide to stop reflecting and get back to the task at hand… Getting angry and fighting the world.
Expecting a receipt given to me freely for my hotel room when I check out …. .I’m not even going to bother explaining that world of bemusement!
Wow, trying to change to an earlier train – the station is buzzing with chaos. I really want to kick people in the throat. I make another mental note, I’ve got to ask my Chinese teacher the words for “fuck off, get out of the way your prick”. I question myself “Am I maybe the prick today?….. Nah”.
I finally walk into Starbucks and scan around for a chair. Look at all the people sitting around with empty cups and I really want to tell them to get out and let real customers sit down. I’m outraged – why don’t Starbucks tell these people to move? About half an hour later, I’m sitting in Starbucks with an empty cup – fuck those people in the line, I’m not moving. Clearly it’s different when I do it.
I bitch and moan in my head about having to wait around for ages….then realise I’ve been googling (sorry, I mean I’ve been ‘binging’ cause we don’t do that google stuff here of course – Google is the devil) holidays in Thailand for too long. I run through the station mentally blaming everyone who somehow touched my day and made me almost miss my train, despite having got there hours before my train is scheduled to leave.
I sit down in my seat and then spill raspberry Vitamin Water on my dress…. Damn, whose fault is that…. #Notfuckingmine
Did I mention today was not a good day to pick a short summer dress and g-string in my rush to get dressed… not sure how many people saw my butt as a battered about the station with all my bags! Lol.
Okay, so that’s Beijing. I think perhaps it brings out the worst in me. Beijing 1: Sarah 0
P.s. Wow this super loud laughing lady next to me on the train better get off the fucking phone soon.
P.P.S Are you judging me for using hashtags outside of Instagram or Twitter??…….#Ijudgedme #ashamed #iblameyou #gofuckyourself
P.P.P.S I know this post is ridiculous 😝
P.P.P.P.S Don’t be alarmed Mum, you’ll love Beijing when you go next week – it’s a great city
And I know I’ve been harsh on you… But it’s okay Beijing, don’t worry – I’m just having a bad day, trust me I’ve had guys act worse than this and I’ve still come back for more…, I’ll give you another go…. One day… Haha
4 thoughts on “Oh Beijing you make me wanna say the F word!”
hahahahaha omg Sarah I #fucking #love #your #style #of #writing 😉 Keep up the amazing work! xxx
Lol thanks Steph – that means a lot xxx and #lol
I love your blogs Sare. I can totally imagine you telling us these stories in person. You do it so well. Xo
Naw thanks gabs!! I’m glad xxx