Oh yeah, I have a blog post sitting in.my drafts… I know it’s Feb but I’m not going to adjust this to the past tense… Here it is;

Wow, has January been like the longest month ever… Maybe it’s just me, but I think January is the least shiny month in shanghai so far.

This blog comes with a disclaimer of not having a great purpose and story line for that matter… It’s a vent. So here I go.

January 2015. It started off with a bang… Brilliant New Years, hopes and dreams…

I went from marvelling at how pretty the dark rainy weather was…

How much fun it was to see random stuff like meat that’s just hanging out by the register in a box

But I’m afraid smog was looming….

So, I may have started the ball rolling by joining my running friends for a Monday 7km along the river when the the pollution reading was directly saying it was unhealthy, so of course I screenshot and send the air pollution reading and made a stupid comment via viber like ‘perfect weather for a jog’ and off I went…

Karma it’s a bitch.

So, Tuesday I feel pretty lethargic and have a weird ear thing going on (I later find out that apparently pollution causes ear trouble in children, chesty coughs and general unwellness thankfully work allow Google so I can diagnose myself with complete certainty and not have to deal with figuring out where a doctor can be found) but decide to drag myself to a dinner after work and decide to suck it up, I mean I’ve never had Korean BBQ and this may be my only chance…

Come Wednesday and I’m feeling shit not to mention pissed off that my vpn isn’t working and I’m left all alone (who will be there for me when I’m bored or lonely if I don’t have Facebook, Instagram or Google… How will I diagnose this illness I feel coming on?).

I leave work early and feel quite guilty, I convince myself that yes I am sick and it’s in the best interest that I go home. I try the pharmacy, I motion and use English words that of course they cannot understand… They get overwhelmed and shut down (this Happens a lot) and just say no in Chinese over and over. It’s gonna take a lot of effort to win the ladies over again and especially without google working to translate for me. My heart isn’t in it…. I’ll go au natural. Marley is stoked to have bedtime come so early, we go to sleep…

The thing is I sleep all afternoon, all night, pretty much all day, then all night and then finally wake up Friday morning. First I must try to figure out if it’s Thursday night or Friday morning, my phone is flat and I don’t actually know its friday morning for a while, but once I finally work it out I decide it’s time to go to work and be better… I scowl at my emails from Facebook saying I have notifications waiting… Screw you guys!

Of course, Marley promptly reminds me when it’s breakfast and dinner time for him.

Wow, this story is super exciting I bet you wish I had more like this… Anyway, I marvel at my strength, I’ve dealt with suffering away without getting all sooky lala and shit… Go me.

I treat myself to a massage, of which my regular massage lady that speaks English, asks how I’m not cold when I feel cold to touch, I say I think I have bad circulation… She smiles and says cheerfully, maybe it’s because of all your fat… I agree delightfully, oh yes it must be that.

Anyway, cut to Friday evening and I’m sitting on a bus on my way to a hiking trip… I know I know, but I paid already and i made up my mind that I wasn’t going to be sick anymore.

I manage to sit right next to the bus heater, which I think definitely made me feel worse. I chat as much as I can without seeming like a weirdo or anti social psycho to the sweet and painfully young and optimisitc looking Dutch boy sitting next to me. We bond briefly over some chinese brandy… I hope it will knock me out. I drift off, but am painfully aware of my stomach pains are looming.. We arrive at 2am and scurry off to real beds.

Now. For those of you thinking this story may end like the scene in the movie bridemaids, it’s not like that so don’t get excited. This is not food poisoning.

We set off hiking at least not too early, I’m not terrible so think I maybe okay. Off we go, and wow it only takes 5 minutes to realise that yes I do feel like crap… The hike is challenging for everyone (except 2 people cause there is always 1 or 2 over achievers in every group – it’s just the way life is), I feel weak but I can’t stand the thought of eating anything and I feel sick and faint. I ponder how many Chinese tourists will photograph me if I decide to puke politely to the side of narrow path…

We are staying at the top of the mountain, so I have no choice but to put my earphones in and will myself to hike up stairs for most of the day… Why on earth did I pack so much…

Eventually I am enticed by a mountain side cucumber and then just when I well and truly think I will run out of steam I have some mandarins and then some mango… I get there.

I go straight to bed like a broken person and wish the world away. 12 hours later, we hike again. Luckily I packed a jarrah mint hot chocolate to pepp me up…

I’m a bit better although still not ready to stomach the delicious trail Mix I made and the hike is half a day and much easier… I channel Taylor swift and shake it off…

Ah… Home sweet home, with an untouched bag of trail mix.

I drag my arse to work Monday, coughing now like an old sailor and I start again… Come Saturday afternoon and I’ll be chillin next to Kirsty’s pool… Shake it off…

My vpn still isn’t working, I hear rumours that China has stopped them all… What does this mean for me!! Can I really live not knowing everything, even the painfully boring yet alluring updates Facebook. I can’t think about it right now, it’s too painful… Oh and did I mention I ran out of Twinings Assam Bold, my stash at home and work is tapped out now!! Shit just got serious…

Weirdly I find myself working late, so I grab a massage at the suspicious place across the road. When the lady in a tight black Lycra dress finishes walking on me, I walk myself home slowly and decide my dinner tonight can just be Special K. I look up at the sky and can’t see a single star but glance at the tiny florist and decide if Shanghai gives you smog then you should buy some tulips..

The shop lady smiles like the Cheshire Cat as she painfully over charges me (okay, so $5 too much is painful for me) for bright orange tulips, but I don’t care… I stroll home reminded it’s Australia Day so I have a card to open from dayna, plus I check the mail and well hello a little package from Tegan.

As I write this post on a smoggy Tuesday morning, I feel much better – perhaps the tulips worked a treat 🙂

 

This is all I have to say haha Nah, i’m being overdramatic don’t worry…  although when we were told to go find some brekkie here I was a little worried I would be undernourished… Smiling for the camera… prentending to not be that ‘weird’ person.. Shake it Off! Okay, it’s time to force something down… nothing like a mountain side cucumber (okay I just took my first photo, maybe there is hope for me…)! Usually going down stairs is exciting, but knowing we’re half way… we’re only just going to have to go up some more on the other side! Very cool view and quite scary to walk down steps so steep! Yep, here we go… Up Hmm, maybe the cucumber helped! Okay, yes worst part over… keep slogging on! And at least I’m not one of these poor guys! Well, I made it to the top! Thankfully I could go and sleep right up the top… oh wait, we need to check out sunset first…. argh. Day 2, feeling good after so much sleep. Off we trek… We Plan a good trek but not so bad today (yay) and then a gondola ride… now that’s much better! Home time.. but a quick stop for food in the town… At least others took pretty pictures whilst I was summing all my will just to keep moving….